1. Usual dentist (annual checkup)
2. Paediatric dentist
3. Orthodontist
4. Orthodontist #2!!

After a first, second and fourth opinion it still isn’t 100% clear which is the way forward, but it is still clear he is going to cost a shitload of money, whichever.

It’s incredibly annoying. You know what he was eating at a kids party the other day? A carrot. (Which he filched from the kitchen, I’m not such a hardass as all that.) But that’s the kind of eater he is. His big sister has no probs, except for the orthodontic thing..

One pertinent bit of background I left out. Boychild eats apples all day long, brushes his teeth without any drama twice a day, and only gets lollies at parties. So besides a short straw in the genetic lotto, the only thing I can really point to is dried fruit and bottled “no added sugar” (but full of fructose) fruit juices. I’m going to be cutting down bigtime on those items. it also goes to show that you can’t rely on good dental habits – that yearly checkup is a must! He claims to have no pain, so it would have gone untreated until whenever.

Oh now I feel for you.

I shall start investing in stocks under a separate portfolio marked ‘teeth’.

Funnily, my fear of dentists started in adulthood. When as a kid with that crowding thing going on I was given several good shots of local, then while I was wide awake they pushed, hammered and crunched a couple of my teeth out, it didn’t hurt or greatly distress me.

Fillings started in my early 20s, and wasn’t that a date with terror?! And a couple of weeks ago I had my gumline ‘cleaned’ and it was possibly the most painful procedure to date! I’ll be getting anaesthetic for that next time.

I’m already being lectured on sending the kidlet to posh private schools, you know like the one I went to and immediately fell from being an A student to a total fail, so it isn’t hard to see how parents can spend that much.

It’s not just the cost (250,000 per child up to adulthood, or something, isn’t it? I don’t go there), it’s the wrench of having something bad happen to your child and wishing it could be you instead.

And I’m a bit paranoid about general anaesthetics. Watch too many hospital dramas.

On the other hand, every time I start getting a bit sooky because I never got organised enough to reproduce, I read something like this, and am consoled a little.