Comments on: I blame the Patriarch

By: Helen

Helen — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 10:54:25 +0000

Sorry about that spaminator, QS.

By: QuietStorm

QuietStorm — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:49:50 +0000

Love your blog, Helen. Great reading. I still giggle every time I read the School Fundraiser's Mantra. Every time I read about the "girls should be more careful" excuse, I pull out the link to the immortal I Am Not My Cock post over at The Talent Show. It's a great summary of where exactly the responsibility for rape lies and why the "men can't help themselves" brigade should STFU.

By: Club Troppo » Missing Link

Club Troppo » Missing Link — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:03:17 +0000

[...] Cast-Iron Helen doesn’t know whether gang rape is on the increase, but is sure that there’s nothing new about parents and grandparents licensing the practice and blaming the victim. [...]

By: Ariel

Ariel — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:28:10 +0000

Great post, and interesting comments. I agree with Gigglewick and Helen wholeheartedly (of course) – the message needs to be aimed at the boys and their behaviour, not the girls. Gang rape is about power and male bonding (inexplicably awful male bonding). It’s also a consequence of a mindset that sees women as objects, not people. I read a suggestion somewhere that the new video aspect reflects the influence of reality TV programs like Big Brother (it mentioned the turkey slapping). Coincidentally, I just finished reading a Joan Didion book that included a chapter on a gang of schoolboys in a downwardly mobile California suburb and their indictment for a series of sexual assaults – not gang rapes, but still group events (boys scored points and swapped stories). The group mentality behind it and the reactions of parents and fellow inhabitants of the suburb (defensive on behalf of their boys) reminded me a lot of Werribee. It’s misguided self-defence, I guess – an inability to believe that their boys – and hence they – did anything wrong. I wish more of these so-called responsible adults thought like you Gigglewick – it’s not helping your child to excuse behaviour and attitudes like that.

By: Helen

Helen — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:20:01 +0000

Sorry to say this, but I think it is being reported more – both by victims and by the media.

I saw what you meant by the end of the paragraph, but looking on the bright side, it’s better than the alternative – that the actual incidence is rising.

(Or, unfortunately, it could be both).

There was a front page story on one of the 15 local papers I read for my work which suggested (the police, mind you) that young women ought to take more care walking home at night, because it’s “only a matter of time before some one gets raped”. I take issue with this, because surely the message should be “don’t rape women” not “women: don’t get raped”?

Exactly, and this point needs to be made again and again. US bloggers are all over this topic, and also make the point that it’s misandrist as well, to make out that men are basically animals who can’t adopt civil behaviour unless kept in check.. by women.

By: Gigglewick

Gigglewick — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 06:10:52 +0000

Sorry to say this, but I think it is being reported more – both by victims and by the media. The problem with this trend (although positive in some respects) is that it allows those old lines about what is acceptable treatment of women (the “she asked for it”/”look what she’s wearing”/”she’s a slut anyway” brigade) to get air-time as legitimate observations on a legal case.

As a mother of a boy, I will be the leader in teaching him respect for women – and regardless of the circumstances there is never any excuse for rape…I would be in the car driving my son to the police station myself if I knew that he had been responsible for such a crime.

I know to some people that’s going to make me seem like some kind of fundamentalist about feminism and somehow disloyal to my child. But admitting that my child is capable of something like this doesn’t mean I don’t love him – you can be horrified about the actions of your children and still love them. And that’s where the difference lies in the case you describe – perhaps these parents can’t find it in their hearts to love some one capable of such a thing, so their solution is to deny any responsibility on behalf of their children.

Well, that’s my two cents anyway.