No, no, no. The reason person who looks a bit stupid playing an instrument is that they are likely using it as prop and don’t really know how to wrangle the damn thing properly.

For example, Madonna has been seen recently manhandling a black Les Paul for some unfathomable reason. I guess it could be some attempt to say “Hey, I rock and can play a instrument” but as with most of her career, it comes off as “Hey, I’m trying to hard once again. Look at me! Look at me!”

I detest posers with guitars as props! Reminds me of the guy I kept running into LA but that is another story.

Now if you want someone who could actually play a Les Paul, I offer the late Kelly Johnson.

When I was in LA in the mid-90s, the women guitarists and dummers I knew (mainly at the Musician’s Institute) were first class. You have never heard of them but they could play.

The most amazing drum performance I watched was by one the women drummers instructors on a Whitney Houston song during a pop workshop. The power was amazing, stunned the entire room and she got the assembled peoples’ ovation.

She has never sounded more like a lioness.

I’m far too gone in my impersonation of a gentleman to suggest Ms Hynde is drawing new energy from her menopausal years.

But fuck my Cuban heel boots, it is one emotionally savage, tender and witty collection of songs. Her voice, lyrics and guitarism are aging like a fine cognac.

And her cover of “I Wish You Love” pretty much justifies buying/downloading the whole bloody thing.

She’s still one of the most effortless cool dames around.

Vixen Live:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NnHlNbgEhoU&feature=related

with a Lita Ford-Ozzy Osbourne duet chaser…..or maybe not.

I can’t link because of on-going “His Crazy Purpleness vs. Youtube” – but it was a female guitarist and female keyboard player who with his crazyness created the um, 72nd greatest album of all time (!!) according to Rolling Stone, number one album for half the year etc. includes the evergreen hits – Purple Rain, Let’s Go Crazy, When Doves Cry.

Wendy Melvoin and Lisa Coleman were members of the Revolution. They left the Revolution after the Parade LP, and have been TV and film composers ever since, known as Wendy & Lisa. Here is someone’s blog with recent photos, one with Sheila E:

http://burningcity.com/blog/2007_01_01_archive.html

And this recent vid of Sheila E. doing ‘glamorous life’ solo on huge kit at some drummers world weekend & is pretty amusing.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=370195311811939278&ei=gGxfSZSGJ564qAORl5jiDw&q=shelia+e

And I reckon Lita Ford the teenage lead guitarist of the Runaways deserves a mention..by name.

And this is for saucegirl: an early vid of Chrissie Hynde putting the galguitarsexy angle literally to bed. There is also an unplugged more recent version on youtube where she is discussing writing this song and then playing it…..with John Cale sitting at one piano and Nick Cave at another. ……v. hard to pick just one of her songs.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=nYbtLXxS2zI

You could be here for a month of sundays listing female country & folk musicians..so I’ll keep to white girl rockers:

Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth. You don’t get any higher up the alt. indie rock ladder than Kim Gordon: bass player, guitar player, songwriter and producer.

This song below is by Sonic Youth’s side gig “Ciccone Youth” – it’s not the original video, I doubt one was ever made (and it was released in 1986 not what the youtuber states) I used to play this song at top volume on the ghettoblaster off my own my cast iron balcony.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=xYTOaU0O1Tk

Dishonourable mentions of course: Courtney Love & Hole, Babes in Toyland, L7 (some of Courtney’s hits still stand up pretty well imo)

And locally, one of THE bands and THE drummers of the 80/90’s was Lindy Morrison….drummer, songwriter and perennial Democrats candidate for Wentworth.

And so it goes on…. two of the biggest selling Australian acts in the past ten years have been female songwriters with guitars amongst a range of instruments they play: Casey Chambers and Missy Higgins.

Prediction….Busted.

The lead guitarist, Natasha Rose, (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=106459205) was looking like the dumpy 14 year old schoolgirl that is shunned by the thin ones while playing blistering stratocaster that was peeling paint three kilometres away. I do not know whether this was some kind of Angus Young reference.

“Did I also mention Patti Smith’s ‘Horses” makes most blokey cathartic rock “…epics look like fumbling adolescent wanks.”

I so meant “Land” off “Horses”.

“There’s a little place, a place called space
It’s a pretty little place, it’s across the tracks,
Across the tracks and the name of the place is
you like it like that”

Even Iggy Pop couldn’t have come up with such perfectly nihilistic line.