Categories: Politics

8 Aug 2010, Comments (7)

HULK SMASH! ! !

Author: Helen

That’s a reference to Feminist Hulk, of course. And I was channelling Feminist Hulk on Friday reading he AGE on the train to work. It’s a worry when you’re in a crowded carriage and your tiny purple shorts start to split…

Picture of Kevin Rudd pulling his shirt apart to reveal a superhero costume with "Rudd to Gillard: I'll Save You"

No, no Disney damsel in distress narrative here at all.



I’d heard an excerpt from the Phillip Adams interview the night before so I was well aware that Kevin Rudd was going to stop sitting around in a sulk with the ALP logo erased from his placards and join the campaign properly, once he was physically up to it. As in, join the campaign. Like one of the merry band on the road to Mordor. But our news media chose to describe Rudd’s return through the lens of … Male White Hero returns to Rescue Damsel in Distress.

With a side serve of We Knew a Sheila wouldn’t be Up to the Job. Move outa the way, Gillard, and let the men do this properly.

HULK SMASH!!

Still from the spoof video Kevin Rudd "I will survive", juxtaposed with an ad for an article from the Business section

Tools getting you down? I know the feeling.



I didn’t put those images together – that was on the same page as the article headed “Ex-PM Rudd to PM Gillard: I will save you” by Michelle Grattan and Michael Gordon. Was a disgruntled subeditor making a veiled comment there? If they still have any, that is. And was there any evidence that Rudd actually said anything about “saving” anyone? There isn’t any in the article. But the actual journalists were all on song about the White Knight Rescue narrative.

This from Michelle Grattan, who I once respected so much:

“Knifed one day, needed the next…
…Move over Julia. Kevin’s here to help.
…Rudd looked positively prime ministerial when he spoke yesterday.

And the next day:

It’s the ultimate girl-meets boy encounter…His place or hers?

HURL!

…the woman who grabbed his job from him.
(John Faulkner was) a prime matchmaker for this bizarre marriage of convenience …

There’s more, but I’d really like to keep this nice Sunday dinner down.

So, Gillard can’t win. If Labor wins the election it’ll be “she couldn’t do it without Kevin10!1!”. If she loses, well, a chick just wasn’t up to it.

Headzup to the Oz media. You’ve already been called repeatedly on your crap (non) reporting. And I’m not Robinson Crusoe with my disillusionment and anger.

Shape up, please, before we end up with this.

2 Jul 2010, Comments (11)

Earworm of the week: Sorrow!

Author: Helen



I could hardly see for the tears as I stumbled into work today. Sure, last week’s news was gut-wrenching enough, especially the Kevin Rudd presser, but this was nothing in comparison with the suffering I was witnessing today. You shouldn’t even listen to the breakfast news when you’re as sensitive as I am.

First up there was the revelation that a rich old white guy, who’d held onto the highest office in the land for over a decade, had been denied the fun new position of international cricket honcho. It’s not the first time “cricket” and “tragic” have been used in the same sentence for JWH but now the words have been sadly reversed. Tragedy is too mild a description for this terrible blow.

Then, after I’d recovered sufficiently to get out of the house and drive to the station, there was the voice of Ian MacFarlane, like velcro dragged over gravel – possibly more than usual as he struggled to contain his emotion – telling of the persecution of “the miners” at the hands of the cruel, perfidious government. “The Miners”, you understand, not “mining corporations”, because (as Pavlov’s cat and Tigtog pointed out) that would make Twiggy and Gina Rinehart sound like members of the Rich list rather than plucky little blokes and blokesses who go down pit every day and come out blackened and dishevelled.*

“The guvmint holding a gun to the miners’ head! …An aggressive attack!…Xenophobic comments made about foreign ownership! A fullon attack by the guvmint on the mining industry!1!”

I’m ready to go to the barricades to try and just get the concept of a fair go back to this country. Now if you’ll excuse me I think I’m going to cry again. I just can’t bear this treatment of helpless people.

26 Jun 2010, Comments (12)

By the pricking of my thumbs

Author: Helen

The historic spill on Thursday had some of the hallmarks of a stage play, a Greek tragedy, or as the Americans say, Kabuki. Bekk wins by reproducing the whole thing in LOLcats (or LOLpolz) for your education.

I heard Kevin Rudd channelling Shakespeare on the ABC Breakfast program that morning, doing MacBeth and Duncan simultaneously.

KR: it’s far better these things are done quickly rather than being strung out over a period of time.

MacBeth: “If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well / It were done quickly” (Act 1, sc 7)

Quite a contrast to a past era where Labor politicians expressed their keenness to do people slowly. But back to the Scottish play. It was an ominous coincidence, and the weather outside the kitchen window was obligingly dark and rainy, but in this case it appears there were four witches, not three.

“When will we four meet again?…
when the hurly burly’s done, when the battle’s lost and won.
That’ll be ere the 6 o’clock news set of sun.
Double, double toil and trouble
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
DRASTICK ACSHUN MUST BE TAKEN
LEST HE LOSE US TEH ELECSHUN

I’m sure the right wing commentariat would like to riff on Julia Gillard/Lady Macbeth, but it isn’t really a starter. The apparatchiks played the three four witches and Lady Macbeth rolled into one, and Julia was MacBeth herself. Who, you will recall, was a pasty freckly celt. See, it all fits. It’s spooky.

As for the next few weeks in the media, this pretty much says it all.

29 May 2010, Comments (6)

Nasty email forwards

Author: Helen

How do you know when it’s getting closer to election time in Australia? By the incidences of unbelievable asshattery, douchebaggery and sheer fuckery which start popping up.

Yesterday one of my co-workers at the Ronnie James Dio Memorial Dogs home (and cattery) got an email with a variation (it’s mutating all the time) of this. (Scroll down for the May 2010 example.)

Charming!

Using google-fu, it took about three seconds to find out the history of this…piece of work.

What about the piece of work who made it and circulated it? What kind of person does this? Whoever you are, you are the very doyen of Douchebaggery. And you, the person who forwarded the thing. Yes, you. I hope you are thoroughly ashamed of yourself and not just for being pranked by some nasty email hoaxer with an agenda.

At least we know it’s getting closer to Election time. Stand by for more horrid examples of what backroom droids can cook up in their petri dishes.

The burqa is a controversial piece of clothing at the moment, and it certainly has a strange effect on some people. Their reading comprehension seems to go out the window, almost as if they were the ones peering out of a tiny slit which only allows limited vision. Some of them also seem to have a severe case of White Knight syndrome. For the the last week I’ve been involved in a circular and pointless argument on LP which has gone something like this (a reconstruction if you will, not a verbatim account, which you can read at the link if you have the stomach.)

Me: I’m against Cory Bernardi’s / Fred Nile’s call to ban the wearing of burqas in public because I find it unacceptable to punish people who are already oppressed. Plus, I don’t think it will work.

Another Commenter: So you support wearing burqas! How can you call yourself a feminist?

Me: Not at all. I think the burqa is highly problematic garment and if it’s forced on people it’s definitely a tool of oppression. I just think arresting, fining and perhaps imprisoning women for wearing it isn’t going to exactly have the effect you’re looking for.

Another Commenter: You feminists and your support for the burqa!

Me: Dude. I just said I did not support the burqa. I have no love for the burqa, niqab and what they represent. I just don’t support criminalising people who wear it because it will punish the people you are trying to help.

Another feminist: What do you think will happen if they pass this one?

AC: You feminists, so busy compromising you can’t stand for anything!

Me: Look, here’s an example of how you can think something is harmful while opposing making its users criminals.

AC: See, here are three quotes from some Muslim/Middle Eastern feminists who want to ban the burqa. That proves I’m right!

Me: “…”

The conversation has been framed – all over, it seems, not just on that blog – as A versus B where A represents po-mo acceptance of compulsory veiling and B represents making a law against it. It seems incomprehensible when a few of us say that we don’t approve of forcing a burqa or niqab on someone at all, but we also think criminalising it will do more harm than good, especially to the veilees- C or D – it’s heard by most people as A. It just can’t be heard, somehow, outside the frame.

The media has enjoyed a week of glorious po-mo-feminist scolding, culminating in this doozy by Virginia Hausegger, which took up almost a third of the AGE editorial page:

A bizarre form of political correctness is preventing us from an open discussion about what is, in fact, female subjugation.
It would seem there are some things in Australia we are not allowed to discuss. A ban on the burqa is clearly one of them.

Almost performance art that, the biggest article on maybe the second most important page of a national daily complaining about being completely silenced. I know that “we’re not allowed to talk about anything because of all this political correctness” is pretty much Holy Writ for culture warriors, but to persist in the face of so much countervailing evidence is nothing less than heroic, and I know that opinion is not the same as reporting, but when did it become simply making stuff up? Yah, political correctness was preventing us from an open discussion of the burqa ban so much, we had only been discussing it for several days on various blogs and talkback radio and crap TV, and there had only been articles on it (both opinion and reporting) in the AGE, the Australian, 9msn, all the news.com.au outlets, Yahoo news, the Punch, New Matilda… to name a few. As forbidden and taboo as twittering about Masterchef.

As for the LP thread, once the discussion had morphed from what they’re doing in France to what we should do here, you would think that instead of being a vanishingly rare minority, burqas had taken over the entire Australian landscape, that is, if you were to give credence to the people who are “offended” by them. Worse, though, is the excruciating fauxminism flung around by some otherwise intelligent people who would just like to feel they’re doing something to “help” the oppressed women of Islam by adding a new offence to the penal code. So, what will happen to women if they are forced to wear the thing by abusive fundamentalist family members? Will they become housebound? What happens to women who might just be habituated to covering up? Will there be any help for them if they experience agoraphobia and panic? Will criminalisation spark a reaction, from both conservatives and fundies and from the minority of young radicals to whom it’s a political or social statement?

Presumably, women brought in for burqa-wearing would also end up with a criminal record.

Or as Kim more eloquently put it: “Yeah, right, we solve inequality in gender relations between Islamic men and women in some cultural manifestations through banning women from doing something. Great!”

And the one question which supporters of the ban don’t want to answer – how should they, as men, be addressing the root of the problem. Whether the burqa is a required feature, rather than a bug, in Islam is probably something few non-Muslim Australians are qualified to argue about – although there’s an interesting discussion of that here. What should be done about the male gaze, and the assumption that women’s bodies are so radioactive and men so weak of will that rape will simply be compulsory if women don’t cover up, is definitely something which the blokes on LP can do something about, if they so choose. The difference between “Infidel uncovered meat!1!” and “what did she expect, going there at that hour in that skirt” is only one of degree, not kind. But it’s easier to make a new law with the stroke of a pen and claim your fauxminism has won the day for women everywhere than think about that stuff.

If you find you’re standing shoulder to shoulder with Fred Nile and Cory Bernardi, that might give you an inkling that perhaps something isn’t right. Since the wars in Afghanistan and Iran took a nasty turn and no WMDs or Osama Bin Laden turned up, and people who were- to put it mildly – not known for their feminism started getting thumpy-chested about rescuing the poor women of Islam from the nastier manifestations of their culture, many of us look at Bernardi and Howard and Nile and go “uh-oh.” The burqa has been around for a while. Why is it suddenly intolerable and criminal now? Has it anything to do with the rise of rightwing groups and the need to placate nationalism in Europe, UK and here? Could it be that Cory wants a handy dogwhistle against strange people from other countries, now that Boat People are being used again as a wedging political issue?

It was with a great sense of recognition that I read The Discourse of the Veil, by Leila Ahmed, recommended by Laura. The appropriation of quasi-femininist thinking by people who would subject Muslim women to police harassment and fines is just the latest example in a long history of interactions between Western culture and Muslim women. You really need to read the whole thing, but here is an excerpt about Lord Cromer (Evelyn Baring), a British administrator in Egypt in the late nineteenth century:

This champion of the unveiling of Egyptian women was, in England, founding member and sometime president of the Men’s League for Opposing Women’s Suffrage. Feminism on the home front and feminism directed against white men was to be resisted and suppressed; but taken abroad and directed against the cultures of colonized peoples, it could be promoted in ways that admirably served and furthered the project of the dominance of the white man.

And this wasn’t merely an eccentricity of Cromer’s, but part of a pattern:

(T)he ideas of Western feminism essentially functioned to morally justify the attack on native societies and to support the notion of the comprehensive superiority of Europe. Evidently, then, whatever the disagreements of feminism with white male domination within Western societies, outside their borders feminism turned from being the critic of the system of white male dominance to being its docile servant.

Legalistic burqa bans had the most impact on the most powerless women, and not necessarily the result expected.

Similarly, in the 1920s the Iranian ruler Reza Shah, also an active reformer and westernizer, went so far as to issue a proclamation banning the veil, a move which had the support of some upper-class women as well as upper-class men…The police had instructions to deal harshly with any woman wearing anything other than a European-style hat or no headgear at all, and many women chose to stay at home rather than venture outdoors and risk having their veils pulled off by the police.

Fast forward to the Noughties, and the Blairs/Bolts/Hitchens using fauxminism to add an idealistic tinge to their Mesopotamian and Afghani adventures, while sneering at feminists themselves. I’d thought their fauxminism was a new development peculiar to our hyper-cynical age of spin, but no. It’s been going on for a long time.

I’m sick of the lazy argument that people who disagree with making women, going about their daily business, into criminals, are therefore in favour of burqas. I’m sick, too, of the endless repetition of “feminists won’t help women of other cultures because they’re po-mo cultural relativists”. Give it a rest. If I could end forced veiling (if anyone chooses to wear a burqa, I really don’t think it’s any of our business) and FGM tomorrow, I would. But using legal punishment – and punishing the people who are themselves abused by any cultural practice – is simply using the wrong tool for the job, fellas. You’re not going to engender love for the glorious Western civ that way.

The most effective challenge to the burqa would be for men to start talking amongst themselves about the presumption of entitlement to any uncovered, or less-covered female body which pervades their own society, whether Islamic or not. I think that compared to just adding another crime to the statute books, having a nice warm glow, and forgetting about it, that would be quite hard work.

The A-G has just announced that after much deliberation the Government has decided we’re not going to have a national Bill of Rights. We’re going to have a Framework instead, apparently. What that would mean I’m not sure. (My guess: Whatever the people administering the “framework” decide it is at any particular time.)

Not everyone is happy with this decision. Father [Frank] Brennan told The Age: ”I am disappointed that more coherent reasons for not adopting a human rights act were not offered by the government in light of the strong community sentiment for one.

Oh, Frank, Susan, you sillies! I have no background in Human Rights law or government whatsoever but the reason is as about as coherent as it gets. Having enthusiastically taken over the job of putting the indigenous unemployed of the Northern Territory on the Susso, they’ve been busily repainting and doing up the old Curtin gulag. Signing up to a Bill of Rights at this time would just lead to embarassing questions from all the wrong sort of people.

Move along.
 
 
 
Crossposted

22 Apr 2010, Comments (19)

Dinnergate!

Author: Helen

When laptops and notebook computers appeared in the land (and mobile phones started sprouting more features), a favourite advertising tactic was to portray young hipsters or rugged professionals sitting on a remote mountain peak, or resting their handsome calves in a deckchair (half-submerged in a sapphire sea) as they tapped away at their gadget of choice. Words like freedom and spontaneity were sloshed around. No more stuffy office!

It was perhaps about a nanosecond before people started to wake up to the ugly reverse side of this. Even at the top of that mountain peak, the office now followed you. We now have a situation, previously only known to slaves and indentured labourers, where there is no longer such a thing as time off. And if you can be “at the office” 24/7 with your gadgets, well, then soon perfect strangers might want to know what you do and where you go in your “free time”.

If you live outside the state of Victoria in Australia, you might not know that the ex-police Commissioner, Christine Nixon, has been roasted slowly over coals in court more than once in the last week for having the temerity to eat dinner (with no alcohol) on her day off. A “day off” during which she went to work.

As her detractors will point out, it was no more than her duty to go to work on a day of catastrophic bushfires, as she was a senior figure (not the senior figure, as they’d like you to believe) in the Emergency Services. But she did. I’m not the only person to find the hatefest engendered by her decision to break for dinner in a hotel!! (or, as one ABC commenter breathlessly said, a pub!) somewhat bizarre.

I don’t need to defend her, as Jeff Sparrow and Moira Rayner have done a great job here and here. Nixon attacked bullying and corruption when she was Police commissioner and made some powerful enemies. But let’s just think of it in terms of the 24/7 worker here. So she went for a meal at a pub with two friends (ZOMG the Roman decadence), on what would normally be her day off. I’m assuming here that a public figure like Nixon would have her phone on her all the time. If she wasn’t actually in the office, what did it actually matter? And what difference did it make that she was in “A Pub”!!1! The way the journos made it sound, you’d think we were back in Victorian times where it was unseemly for a Lady to set foot in Such a Place. You can imagine how differently it would have been spun by a male police honcho. “We repaired to the pub to refuel and made it our centre of operations for a couple of hours.”

As it was, as a rotund and middle-aged woman, she was pilloried with images of Food and Eating and everything Fatty-fat-fat, which is also, for women, code for lazy and sluttish. Of course, there are no fat men in the higher echelons of the Emergency services. It was instructive to see the equal and opposite reaction to the fainting Julia Gillard (and also, no-one in the armed forces faints on parade…right?) This time the link to the article is “Gillard must remember to eat!” But that’s different, because you see, she’s the society-approved shape!

Also, outsourcing your meal to the local, rather than spending more time buying ingredients and cooking, seems like an efficient thing to do on a day when you might well have more to do. But, you know, while people are all foaming about Responsibility, they’re really just after a really good performance. In the theatrical sense.

FX Holden summed it up perfectly.

She should have commissioned a khaki, Steve /Bindi Irwin outfit, complete with hat, rolled up the sleeves and had a TV camera follow her out to the Dandenongs where she should have handed out sandwiches,to CFA volunteers, shook a few hands, grabbed a hose and splashed a bit of water on a burnback, rubbed a bit of ash across her sweaty face and said to camera “Geez I’m too busy here fightn’ fires to talk to youse”
Then she’d be a hero.
Would have helped the effort not one bit and may have even caused resources to be diverted from real effort.
But she wouldn’t have been under fire at the RC from bloody lawyers, none of who have run anything more complicated than asking their PA to get their wife a birthday present.

Next time you read a “why aren’t there more women in the top positions” article (complete with comments mansplaining that feminism was all a mistake and where is the female Beethoven), remember that somewhere a woman might be weighing up a choice to apply for one of those positions. And she’ll know that she’ll be judged, not only on everything she does whether she’s at work that day or not, but on her appearance. But if she uses her day off to do anything about her appearance, or to eat, that’s wrong too, if all hell should break loose before she realises it. And if she’s not built to the required fuckability-template of the day, that’ll be fully taken in to account in our shallow and insecure society.

It’s interesting to see that here in Victoria, Labour Day and IWD have fallen on the same day this year. Because despite the popular belief that feminism is for boring old fuddy-duddies because all the inequality stuff has been done and dusted, the facts on the ground show that that’s not so. A new report by the ILO tells us what most of us already know: Despite signs of progress in gender equality over the past 15 years, there is still a significant gap between women and men in terms of job opportunities and quality of employment.

Labour day is a bit of a dog’s breakfast in Melbourne because the proper Labour day is the first of May, but we celebrate it – or rather ignore it – on the second monday in March, when the government goes apeshit with bread and circuses (“Moomba”) to deflect any unseemly focus on those nasty unions and their dreadful preoccupation with working conditions.

Me, I’m still hoping that the green shoots I’ve seen where I work – as in, young dads with young children taking days off or leaving early for childcare and school commitments – continue to grow. As a feminist, I’m not interested in work vs. stay-home arguments which are predicated on the model of women being overwhelmingly responsible for child wrangling and domestic work. There’s always the accusation that feminists would deny mothers that “choice”. I wouldn’t deny it to anyone, but I’m not satisfied that in the present cultural climate (still) it’s really a choice. I’d rather see the domestic load being spread more and more evenly between parents as the years pass, and the notion of the Perfect Employee pass into history. That’s where more rubber will hit the road, for a better and more humane work world.

Maybe.

And if I’m wrong (and even if I’m not) some people of that future time will still be bad-mouthing the ber-loody feminists.

You know when a government come up with something that just really stinks of “cooked up by a PR company”? To give him credit, our State Premier John Brumby took on board that the recent attacks on Indian students and workers in Melbourne really did have a racist component and didn’t try to take the “Racist? Who? Us? How dare you!” route. But. Come on. Wasn’t there anyone in the State PR machine to say “hang on a minute guys, I think this might cause widespread uncontrollable laughter, eyerolling and blowing of mighty raspberries from the people we are trying to impress with our Sincerity™?

A FORMER AFL footballer is the nation’s first “respect” minister after being appointed by the Victorian government to tackle the growing racism and alcohol fuelled violence problems in the state.
Premier John Brumby announced Justin Madden would be the minister for the “respect agenda” as part of his election year cabinet reshuffle following the shock resignation of embattled Transport Minister Lynne Kosky this week.

I mean… Madden! Not only does he come from the background of Australian Rules football – a milieu which is trying with limited success to shake off its reputation for a lack of respect when it comes to women and people of other races and cultures. He’s also the minister least likely to be associated with the word “respect” by the long suffering inhabitants of Victoria. He has a long history of showing respect to developers and money, and none to architecturally significant buildings, grasslands, coastal communities or the planning rules set up to make our city livable. This leaked email about setting up a false public consultation process for a development has shown just how much respect Madden and the Vic Government have for the people of his State and the iconic buildings and places which they love.

Really, I’m not under any illusion that the Victorian government has our best interests at heart – let alone those of international students – but you’d think with all the money from developers pouring into the party coffers, they’d be able to come up with a more sophisticated PR response to the problem.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T – Find out what it means, before you create a ministry of it.
 
 
 
Crossposted at Larvatus Prodeo, with bonus Bernice

Yes, I’m looking at the Australian Liberal party, who have gleefully piled onto Peter Garrett and called for his resignation over the Insulation scheme debacle (which is predictably being called Insulationgate), but don’t seem to know that their arses are on fire.

Now, sure, I’m predisposed to like the guy. But let it be known I’m not particularly keen to fight Garrett’s corner as a minister in the Labor government. I’m the Voter who Cannot Love*, after all. He, like Julia, has broken my heart over environmental and Arts policies. No, I don’t think parachute-in celebrity politicians are necessarily a good thing, and I also think he’s overfaced. He was given too much responsibility, too quickly. The fact that every right wing hack was automatically programmed to hate him was just icing on the cake.

Should he move aside into a less demanding portfolio to gain more experience? Should he sit down and have a big think about whether the realpolitik of the Labor tent has negated his entire life’s work on environmental issues? Yes and yes. Should he stand aside because his position has become completely untenable and he’s electoral poison? Or because, in some quaint and symbolic way, in the Westminster system a Minister is required to fall on his or her sword for the actions of other people? Probably. But should he stand aside, or be sacked, because he bears some kind of moral responsibility for the four workplace deaths that have happened since the inception of the insulation scheme? That is such a pack of horse hockey I’m unable to contain my rage.

Gosh, it’s touching that the Liberal party has suddenly discovered workplace deaths in the building industry. When they were in power, those despised Unions were constantly trying to tell them. About forty people a year, more or less, die in Australia every year. Are the other thirty-six people who died in Australia in the last year chopped liver, just because they don’t come with a Ministerial scalp? I don’t hear any outrage in doorstop interviews about them.

The four people (some of them boys) died for the usual reason: because their employers ignored occupational health and safety practice (as well as ordinary common sense). The employer of the worker who died in October could possibly claim ignorance about the metal fasteners used with metal foil insulation close to wiring. The others couldn’t, because Garrett didn’t do nothing: he moved to ban the fasteners in November. Two more workers died as a direct result of the employer ignoring a new regulation which Garrett himself had put in place, as well as one from heat stroke, again the employer’s responsibility. To quote one commenter, the responsibility to run a safe workplace lies with the employers.

Now we have the Liberals shouting that Peter Garrett should have micromanaged the scheme to the point of overseeing every employer, perhaps, I don’t know, climbing into every roof space himself. This is the same Liberal party mainly composed of people who see every government regulation as a slippery slope to socialism. This is the Liberal party whose constituency is business groups which oppose industry regulation as “anti-business”.

These are the people who claim to espouse a doctrine of individual responsibility, but because it suits them at the moment, they’re willing to abandon that. “If you don’t like my principles, I have others”, I guess? See Also, the invisible hand of the Market sorting things out? When push comes to shove, this incident has shown that they really know it’s a crock.

So, Libs, if you want to claim your prize Ministerial Scalp at the prize desk, I think you should have to fess up that the despised unions were right all along and that government oversight of private industry is totes necessary (and that at the moment you’re calling for government micromanagement on a scale hardly known except in command economies). Also, that conservatives are for Individual Responsibility, except where you can blame something on someone you don’t like.

Also, that your arses are on fire.
 
 
 
 
*Just like Chilly, the Elf who Cannot Love.